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EATS AND DRINKS

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Ok. Well. You know on the vegas pics page I offered some suggestions of where to get your buzz on when in Sin City. But here's a few things you can whip up at home to get you in the mood to kick back, relax and, oh, say, read a good book, or two! Mojitos are one of my personal favorites. They're hard to find at the local taverns, though. So if you don't feel like going clubbing, here's how to fix them up at home: Stuff you Need: 6 ounces light rum 12 mint sprigs broken apart 4 tablespoons sugar Club soda 2 limes, cut in half What you do with this stuff: Place sugar, a bunch of mint, and splash of soda water in a large bottomed glass. Use fork to press mint and dissolve sugar. Muddle it together like this until it smells minty. Squeeze pieces of lime into the glass, leaving a couple rinds in the mixture. Add rum, stir, and fill with ice. Top with soda water, garnish with mint sprig and serve. ~~~ OK. You're gonna have to keep your shit together to handle this next drink. The recipe was donated by my good friend and genius writer Biff Mitchell. Biff did some time as a bartender, and he invented this drink. He calls it the fair-to-middlin'-peachy-keen-fine-wonderful-and-exuberant! Teenagers, I have personally tested this recipe, and it earns the name, and a place on my menu forevermore. However, either write this down or make sure the bartender has a good memory, because after one of these, you won't remember how to make it anymore. Without further ado, here it is. The fair-to-middlin'-peachy-keen-fine-wonderful-and-exuberant! What you need: half ounce uzo half ounce Malibu half ounce peach schnapps half ounce Gran Marnier What you do: don't shake don't stir swirl drink at your own risk Many thanks to Biff for turning me on to this concoction. Unfortunately, this drink is a bit too potent to get you in the mood to hang out and read. But if it did, one of the first books you should check out is Biff's newest release, THE WAR BUG. Biff is lucky that he's such a cool guy. Otherwise his talent would drive me to the brink of insanity. He's cool, he's funny, he makes great drinks, he's an amazing writer, and he's hot to boot! Someday I'm gonna embarrass the shit out of him by doing a drawing of him. He deserves some humiliation to be taken down a notch. ~~~ Next up, the classic Cosmopolitan A word of caution here. A lot of places will substitute triple sec for the cointreau in this recipe. Don't. It sucks if you do that. What you need: 4 ounces vodka (you can use Citron and it's really good) 2 oz cointreau 1 oz lime juice 2 oz cranberry juice What to do: Shake together with ice, strain, and serve in a chilled martini glass. ~~~ Make some Pasta! This is my super-easy family recipe. What you need: 3 cups semolina flour (you can use regular flour if you don't wanna make a special trip to the store) 1 cup eggs What you do: Put flour in a large bowl and make a well in the middle. Pour eggs into the well, whip the eggs, then gradually stir the flour into them. Once all the egg is absorbed, begin to knead the dough. Work it until it's tender. This isn't like pastry dough or bread dough, you don't have to worry about over-kneading and making it tough. Once you've got your dough mixed, use a rolling pin to flatten it and then you can cut into whatever shape you want, ie squares for ravs, fettucine noodles, whatever. Note -- a good pasta machine will make it much easier for the rolling/cutting, but it's not mandatory. Be generous in using extra flour for dusting as you do this to keep the dough from sticking. Let it dry. Then you can freeze for later or cook fresh. Just boil water, salt it, and toss in the pasta. Don't be a 'madigan and cook it 'til it'd stick to the wall. If you do that you just have sticky pasta. It should be al dente (to the tooth). ~~~ Ravioli stuffing You've got that fresh, easy pasta dough. Why not go all out and make homemade ravioli? Most silly restaurants offer meat or cheese ravs. Ridiculous! WHY in this world should you have to choose? In my family, we put it all in there. It's better that way. See if you don't agree. What you need: 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 lbs. ground beef (you can also use ground veal, sausage, chuck, or even baby shrimp or crabmeat.) 1 small onion, chopped Salt & Pepper to taste 2 packages frozen spinach, thawed and drained. (of course, you can always start from fresh. Just start with about a pound, chop it up, then steam it to cook.) Salt & Pepper to taste 3 eggs (raw) 1 1/2 cups grated parmesan cheese 2 cups ricotta cheese (optional. depends on just how cheezy you want the filling) What to do: Heat oil in large skillet. Add onion and cook just a couple minutes to soften. Add ground beef and salt & pepper to taste. Cook well, then remove from heat and drain off extra fat. Mix in drained, cooked spinach, salt & pepper (again), eggs, and parmesan cheese. Stir well. If desired, fold in ricotta. Get freshly prepared dough. Flour working surface liberally and roll dough to desired thickness. (don't make it paper thin, the ravs have to be able to hold the filling.) Once rolled, cut dough into 2-3 inch wide by about four inch long strips. (these rectangles can be much smaller or bigger according to YOUR tastes. If you want giant ravs, cut big. If you want pettite, go for it.) Drop a heaping teaspoon of filling onto each dough rectangle. Fold it over, then use a fork to seal the open edges closed. (use the tines, just don't press too hard and puncture through the dough, but enought o leave a nice imprint and seal the rav shut) With this dough/filling, you'll want to then use the fork to poke holes in the top of the rav so that when you cook it it doesn't explode. Let them dry for about an hour. Then you can either cook them up or freeze for later. For expediency, you can also use a ravioli maker where all you have to do is lay the dough out, plop on the filling, and it'll cut/seal them for you. Have at it. I prefer to gather my brothers and sisters and nephews and nieces around and make it a family project. We cook. We eat. Then we get drunk and play poker while the kids do the dishes. Great fun. ~~~ You oughta have a great Sauce to top off your new ravs. I can't give you our family recipe. I'm sorry, I just can't. You either have to be born into this mess or marry into it (willingly) to get that information. We view it not so much as a perk as a consolation prize. But I can give you a nice easy recipe for a lovely, light marinara that'll go very nicely with most anything. But, first. All this work is making me thirsty. How about a pause for a little libation? You're free to crack a beer or dip into the wine, or maybe even a Susan DiPlacido Martini. For the SDM, you'll need: 1 bottle of Absolut And what you'll need to do is: Drink it. Yes I realize that straight vodka is not a very impressive thing to serve for entertaining people who you're tricking into helping you do your cooking. So may I suggest Chocolate Cake Shooters instead. You'll need: 3/4 oz. Citron vodka 3/4 oz. Frangelica lemon slice Sugar You'll do it this way: Mix vodka and frangelica in a shot glass. Coat the lemon slice with the sugar. Bite down on the sugared lemon. Do the shot. Ok, that's much better, now we're ready to do the marina sauce. What you need: 5 cups diced tomatoes (fresh is best, but you can use canned if you must. bear in mind, different tomatoes give different flavors, so choose a tomato you enjoy. I like Roma the best for this sauce) 1 clove minced garlic 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 small diced onion 1 heaping tablespoon sugar Salt & Pepper to taste Also add to your tastes: basil, oregano, parsely, red pepper What to do: Heat oil in pan and add onion & garlic. Don't brown, just melt it down. Add the tomatoes, stir and let heat. Simmer about 5 minutes. Season to taste and add sugar, stir and simmer another 10-20 minutes. ~~~ Or, alternately, if you were too lazy to make ravs and just made some linguine noodles, here's a nice Clam sauce to put on the fresh pasta you just made. What you need: 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 tablespoons fresh chopped parsley 1 large clove garlic, minced If you have the patience to do the Goodfellas trick with the razor blade, do it, it IS the best way 1/2 cup chopped onion Salt & Pepper to taste 1 can (about 10 ounces) minced clams, undrained What you do: Heat oil in a skillet; add parsley, garlic and onion. Sauté for 4 to 5 minutes. Be sure not to brown the garlic/onion, you just want them to soften and turn clear and melt down. Add salt, pepper, and minced clams with liquid. Simmer for 5 minutes. Serve on your homemade pasta. ~~~ Dessert coming soon -- Ricotta pie! ~~~ For these meals you should have some good wine! So go buy some. And for a nice, simple after dinner drink, how about some DiSaronno on the rocks. Good choice. Plus it'll get you all cozy and in the mood to settle in with the new Queer Eye episode. OR settled in to read a good book! Or two.

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